The Aural Courtesan

I got a part!

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 05:55:42 GMT

It's not the part I wanted, but it is a paid role in a professional theatre production, so I guess I shouldn't complain. But of course I did a little in the blog on my personal website. LMFAO. Check out TonyaJoneMiller.com for more details...

Tonya

July 4th

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 18:04:24 GMT

America

Barbecue

Cool

Dogs

Eating

Fireworks

(In true American spirit, my alphabet ends here thanks to the public education system under GWB. Oh wait, I'm questioning authority. Is that patriotism or treason? But anyways, get OFF the soapbox, sweetie...)

Hi. I'm having a barbecue. You should come. Details on TonyaJoneMiller.com. Happy Red, White, and Blue!

Domination is Fun

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 02:37:03 GMT

Have I mentioned I've been feeling very Domme lately? Seems I've been attracting more domination phone sex calls as a result...This whole "sexual peak in your 30's" thing is a great excuse to indulge my fantasies and explore my personal perversions...

Click here for my latest naughty fantasy.

What I've Been Up To...

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 05:16:08 GMT

I'm finally able to sit at my desk for more than five minutes without either being in excruciating pain or too drugged out to type, so here is my long-overdue post. A few months ago I injured my back somehow, went to a doctor, was referred to a physical therapist, and eventually got better. Well then of course I stopped going to physical therapy. Then a couple of weeks ago, I wake up and OUCH. I tried taking it easy for a day or two, but I wasn't feeling better and made an appointment with my PT. The morning of the session, I get a call from his office telling me HE got injured and couldn't meet with me. Oh the irony. So I rescheduled, picked up some pain pills from my always-has-the-goods friend, and stayed in bed for a few days. The day of my new appointment arrives, along with another phone call from his office saying he still hasn't been cleared for work. *sigh* I've been basically staying in bed except for meals and showers for the last two weeks. When unbearable cabin fever hit, we took a drive to the coast for clam chowder at Mo's, but aside from that, I've been flat on my back for days now. Not that that's anything new. Lol!

When I have managed to sneak a few moments at the computer, I admit to being a bit pre-occupied with my newest endeavor, ChefCrush.com. I came up with the idea while out with my pal, Ingrid. It's just a tongue-in-cheek homage to our favorite cooks and restaurants, but it has actually gotten some notice. At first we were going to try to remain anonymous, but that is pretty much impossible when you're standing there taking pictures. So I figure since I'm putting so much work in on Chef Crush, I should share it with you. Bonus: it's a great excuse to eat in fabulous restaurants as much as possible. Hehehe.

Also, we've finally got a new Bay City Blues phone sex logo and will be working on changing the website over to a WordPress blog format over the next couple weeks. If you happen to notice any bad links once we get started, feel free to let me know. And here's a sneak peek for you...

Cool, don't you think? I like the retro feel of it. Anyway, once we get accustomed to the new format, we'll start hiring more aggressively again. We just had to let go of another group of girls who just weren't cutting it. Jesus, it's hard to find decent phone sex operators and even harder to keep quality ones if you do happen to luck onto them. I feel blessed having the amazing ladies we have, but damn it's not easy. *sigh* But enough of my kvetching. Lol. Next blog will be sexy as hell, I promise...

Love,
Tonya

Beach Bum

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:41:49 GMT

I should write a big long post about my life. But it looks like this outside:

I'm going to the beach. :)

Tonya

I Made Chilean Empanadas!

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 04:56:09 GMT

I used this recipe. They're pretty good but not quite what I remember from my time as an exchange student in Chile. Of course, it was 17 years ago, so who knows if I'm remembering correctly. Lol! I think I used the wrong kind of Adobo seasoning, and I like more raisins for sweetness and texture. But they're pretty damn close to what I was aiming for. Yum!

~Tonya

A Picture...

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:20:01 GMT

...From the Masturbate-a-Thon last Saturday night...

Photo by: Bryan Grimes

Procrastinate Much?

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 16:13:04 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

Yes, I'm terribly bad for not writing in ages. What can I say? It was my birthday, and I felt like being spoiled and lazy. Not the most auspicious start to my 33rd year, but I promise I'll make up for it...

My birthday meal itself was spectacular. I suppose I could post the menu but it would just make you drool on your keyboard, so I'll spare you. I will tell you it was concocted by three of the most well-respected chefs in town and was absolutely worth the spendy ticket (which went to charity anyway).

I'm also rocking a brand new smile, courtesy of Howard. See I've always had these gaps in my teeth. It never really bothered me in a cosmetic sense, but I'd been told by a speech therapist that my lisp/lateral ess would be easier to control if the gaps were closed. Diction and enunciation (especially my S's) are a constant struggle for me onstage, and I have been flat out told that I lost roles due to my voice. Which is pretty fucking hilarious when you think about it, seeing as how I've supported myself with that same voice for the past four and a half years. *shrug* But it was something I became self-conscious about and felt affecting my acting, so I decided to get my teeth fixed. And Howard the darling decided that would be my birthday present this year! So if you get grossed out by dentistry, sorry...

Before, Left Side Before, Right Side

Before, Front After, Front

After, The Big Picture

I think the weirdest thing is getting used to how it feels to have teeth where there were spaces before. And I'm having to completely re-train my tongue to make certain letters/sounds, which is really hard. But I love the way it looks, and more importantly, I can hear the difference in my voice already. I have a ton of auditions coming up, so hopefully people will notice. Actually, I guess what would be better is if they don't notice and say nothing. Lol!

Saturday night I performed a comedy bit at the Masturbate-a-Thon in front of a crowd I would estimate to be 2-300 people. God, I get such horrible stage fright when I'm going off the cuff like that. Give me a script and I'm confident as hell, but stand-up/improv is truly terrifying. Which is probably why I do it. Hehehe. Anyways, I think I did ok, although I'm always my own harshest critic. Definitely got some laughs. My biggest problem was the volunteer I got from the audience. He was way more into trying to look clever or get me to jerk him off than in actually playing along as if it were a phone sex call, which was what I was aiming for. *shrug* Live and learn, I guess. I really want to do more of this kind of thing, but I'm still finding my comedy legs so to speak, and I need more practice. Of course the only way to get more experience is to just DO, so I imagine I'll pursue more gigs like this in the future.

In addition to this, we've been working with the webdesigner on a new logo and site design, and I think we're finally honing in on what it is we want. No peeks yet, but I assure you it's going to make Bay City Blues easier to navigate and add some fun new features. Also have been enjoying myself tremendously with some deliciously deviant phone sex friends, old and new. I think I'm supposed to be hitting my sexual peak right about now- that's what "they" say, right? Women hit their sexual peak in their thirties? Apparently everything before now was just building up to this point. Damn. I mean, DAMN. You guys better watch out. *wink*

Love,
Tonya

Getting Away With...

Tue, 20 May 2008 20:35:55 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

Some of you may remember last year when the bank came after us and made us change a bunch of stuff on the Bay City Blues website in order to keep our merchant processing account. No references to incest, ageplay, bestiality, death, torture, or non-consensual sex of any kind on BCB itself, regardless of context. Included in the category of "non-consent" was rape (duh), hypnosis (huh), and sleep (uhh really?). What. The. Fuck. We'd just spent hundreds of dollars designing the Hypnosis Lounge and had to bag the whole thing. We had to fight to keep the chat room and girls' emails (again, wtf?). It cost us considerable time and money to get in compliance, because we had to revise nearly every girl's profile and edit out about 1/2 the entries in the City Hall forums. That's one of the reasons we decided to retire the forums- it was too hard to keep them ultra clean and not nearly as much fun if we couldn't say what we wanted.

The whole situation still upsets me when I think about it. For so many reasons. First of all, they financially forced us to conform to their beliefs and limitations. They don't tell restaurants what to serve or department stores what to sell, even though some of those foods and products are the direct result of animal cruelty and/or inhumane labor practices. Bookstores sell books about genocide, rape, and other assorted atrocities. But we're not supposed to talk about it, simply because we sell phone sex between two consenting parties of legal age.

What's the big deal, you ask? A lot of adult businesses use "cheat" credit card accounts and aren't quite being honest about their goods/services. But try to legally process credit cards for an adult business, and you can prepare for an arduous process akin to a papal election. Howard has run many businesses, been a member of the NJ bar and a trader on the stock exchange, and has excellent credit. It took him over two years to get us our own merchant account for Bay City Blues phone sex, and we are lucky to have it. The application was 60 pages of personal information and financial history. After all that, the bastards can still arbitrarily decide to censor our speech. Obviously, we have to be able to run credit cards. We had no choice but to comply.

Second, do they really think that by sweeping these things under the rug they can make them disappear? People have kinky sex and perverted dreams. The whole point of phone sex, in my eyes, is to give people an outlet for the fantasies they cannot act upon in "real" life, for whatever reasons. Maybe what they want to do is illegal or harmful, and being conscientious human beings, they would never really break the law or hurt anyone. Maybe the fantasy is not anatomically possible or involves imaginary creatures/beings. Maybe the fantasizer is physically handicapped or socially awkward and is able to interact less awkwardly on the telephone. The point is, when we as a society marginalize those we simply do not understand, we turn normally law-abiding citizens into criminals and force them underground where they are more likely to financially contribute (consciously or not) to human trafficking and the illegal sex trade.

Here's where I'm going with this...I have a ton of American Dad, Simpsons, and Family Guy episodes recorded on my dvr, and I often put them on in the background while I'm working at the computer. One thing I can't help but laughing about is what they get away with on those shows. I noted overt references to pedophilia, bestiality, and incest in just one episode of the Family Guy. A caller of mine told me the show is banned in a lot of countries, which I didn't know but which doesn't surprise me at all. They get away with murder, saying things on prime time network television that we cannot even refer to on an adult website. The inequity of it would piss me off a lot more if I didn't strongly believe that SOMEONE needs to be testing and poking fun at the easily offended who insist upon inflicting their morals and values on others. Denying the validity of others' beliefs, thoughts, and fantasies- to me, THAT is one of the most truly offensive and de-humanizing things a person can do.

Now I'll get off my soapbox. *chuckle* I have to work on my piece for the Masturbate-a-thon, which is coming up in less than two weeks. I've decided what angle to take and just need to work on the details. I'm really looking forward to this performance! Also have a few auditions coming up. I'm feeling pretty rested, and it would be nice to do another play soon. But I'm getting ahead of myself, as I am wont to do. In my immediate future is an elliptical machine, a hot shower, and happy hour with my friend Ingrid tonight...Hopefully followed by some seriously perverted, non-bank-sanctioned phone sex. Heh.

-Tonya

Definitely NSFW

Sat, 17 May 2008 03:41:31 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

I am thinking about your hands...I can picture them in my mind's eye, and I'm wondering what they would feel like on my body...Long, slender fingers...Would they be tentative and gently caressing? Or would they surprise with the force of their urgency, pushing into warm crevices with undeterred insistence?

I am imagining my lips on the webbing of your fingers, suckling on your thumb seductively...The way your eyes roll back, that suppressed groan as a million dirty thoughts shoot through your head, how your hips thrust involuntarily, all at the mere flick of my tongue...I suck harder, loving the desire audible in ragged gasps of your breath...I want to drive you insane...

Kissing your fingertips one at a time, winding my tongue around those digits, and then popping them out of my mouth...I lift my eyes to yours with an impish smile as I guide your hand down between my breasts over the changing terrain of my body...I like to watch your response when you feel how wet I am...Hot and impossibly slick, a quick flash in your eyes as you register what I would feel like impaled on you...

Cupping your hand against me, curving two fingers inside, I instantly soak your skin...Moaning into the kiss you use to quiet me lest anyone hear...I have forgotten where we are...I fumble to release the throbbing cock from your pants, our mouths threatening to devour each other whole...With that solid flesh in my grasp, I finally break our kiss, looking down at it and then back into your eyes. One word is all it takes...

"Now."

Breathless, insistent...And I am up agains the wall on my tiptoes, cheek pressed to cold tile, skirt shoved up over my ass pushed out expectantly...I am waiting to feel your muscles shuddering, to hear your voice whispering sweet perversions as you enter me...Each slow, deliberate thrust spreading me to the core...I beg for moreharderdeeperfaster, urging you on with the undulations of my body...

And then I am everywhere, exploding and filling the far corners of the room with my screams...But you do not stop...This is only the beginning...

Why Lie?

Sat, 03 May 2008 19:34:46 GMT

I've had so much going on lately that every time I sit down to write I don't know where to start and end up blowing the whole thing off. But I'm determined to get over the hump (haha), so here goes...

I'm working on a redesign of the main Bay City Blues phone sex website. This is the first time I have attempted anything of this scale, and it's much more complicated that making the kind of blogsites I've been doing for the other BCB girls. Obviously there are a ton of pages, plus there are scripts for making the girls show available, unavailable, and on the phone. I'm such a novice that every time I get one thing figured out, I run into something else I don't know how to do. But I'm the kind of person who learns best by doing, so even though it's frustrating, I know I have to slog through the trials and errors. I don't want to give too much away yet, because this is going to take me a while, but I think it will be pretty cool when all is said and done.

Had an audition the other day for a commercial, and I honestly don't know why I bother. Ok, well yes I do. My friend called and asked me to come in, and I never turn him down. I need experience in auditions and especially on film, because...I SUCK!!! Seriously. I have no idea what to do in front of a camera and the first thing that happens is I lose my lines. To make matters worse, I was auditioning with another actress, and I'm sure she just thought it was the most terrible excuse for acting ever. *sigh*

The thing is, I'm so comfortable on stage. I have unshakeable confidence in my acting for the theatre. I don't get why tv/film is so hard for me. And I think it has become such a big deal that I sabotage myself in auditions by not preparing properly. But then the other side of me goes, "I don't WANT to fucking prepare for a damn real estate commercial!" I think I either need to stop torturing myself and start turning down these types of auditions, or I need to make it my goal to actually get cast in one and work hard to get it done. Ambivalence and apathy are getting me nowhere, so it's time to hitch my cart to some different ponies.

Tomorrow I am going to a planning party for the Masturbate-A-Thon...How funny a visual is that? Lol! But I am really looking forward to meeting some local deviants who are into art and performance and sex. I have already started outlining my piece for the show, although it won't be completely scripted since I like working off the audience. Plus, I get to be raunchier than the last time, so it's going to be even more fun. You know me- the fewer limits, the better! *winks*

On Monday, Howard and I went to the Taste of the Nation: Portland, the equivalent of a culinary orgasm that also happens to benefit some great charities. There were yummy sips and nibbles from over 100 local wineries, breweries, distilleries, restaurants, and specialty stores. Unbelievable! It's pretty spendy, but 100% of the proceeds go to very deserving hunger charities, so it's easy for me to rationalize. Lol. It also gave the budding foodie in me a whole slew of new restaurants I want to try...Oooh! That reminds me I wanted to go find all my restaurant reviews from PortlandFood.org and repost them here. But it will have to wait until after I make a blogsite for new BCB phone sex vixen, Juliana...

***PHONE SEX SPOILER***
I've been meaning to write this for days, so here goes...Skip the rest of this entry if you live in a fantasy world and don't understand how the phone sex business works.

This past week I got a phone call from an ex-contractor who claimed that by putting up a recent character using the same model she does, BCB had made a personal attack on her. The sheer lunacy of her complaint astounds me. First of all, I hadn't given this person a thought in over a year at least, so she's flattering herself to think it was an attack of any sort aimed at her.

We did not attempt to duplicate her phone sex character- the name is different, as is the persona. That's our way of letting our intelligent customers know we're not trying to sell them a different girl than the one they might have gotten to like who used the same model. How fun is trying to call a girl you like, only to get a stranger? It used to be common practice for companies (including BCB in the beginning) to have different operators play an existing character, but this is much less accepted now.

I feel that model choice is a hugely important part of putting together a phone sex profile, as the model is literally the online face of the operator and should be representative of her personality and sexuality. But there is a distinction between just the model and the complete character. I have stated many times before that I believe the best operators are the ones who put the most of themselves into their phone sex persona. I believe it so strongly, that I am one of the few pso's I know who uses both my own real name and my own photographs.

Of course, I do see why this ex-BCB girl is upset. She has been misleading her callers for years and claiming to be the model in the photographs she uses. Anyone could go right now, buy those pictures, and put up a phone sex character using that model. Yet she thinks BCB doing it was a personal attack on her. Did I know she was using the pictures when I let a new operator choose that model? Yes. Just like I know that ANY web model I might purchase photos of may be used by any other phone sex or "dating" website who wants to buy the same photos. This is how it works, unless you purchase exclusive rights to specific photo sets and/or models.

Bay City Blues paid good money for that content. Why should I waste legally purchased and fully licensed photographs because she has been dishonest with her callers? I'm sitting here shaking my head, days later, because it belies such unfamiliarity with the standard practices of a business this person has been in for years now. How do you stay in a business for so long without knowing how it works?

I do believe that one of the best things we have done is to stop asking our girls to lie to clients who know better. (Have you ever seen a porno for fuck's sake? Recognize anyone? Sheesh!) And "coming out" has been so liberating for me personally, my heart actually goes out to the sexy sirens who live in fear and therefore limit their own potential. My choice is not the decision I expect everyone to make, but I won't be bound by their deceptions either.

All I can say is if you don't want to be worried about being exposed as a fake or defending yourself from what you see as copycat characters, try doing something nobody else can do better than you- BE YOURSELF.

And oh yeah...

Hehehe.

Love,
Tonya

We're In Trouble...

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 14:56:16 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

So a couple of years ago, I started a Timewasters List in the BCB private employee forums. It's basically a running list of guys who jerk girls around in the chat room or on instant message. Believe it or not, some assholes get off on pretending like they're going to call and trying to get a girl to cross the line into cybering. These jerks can waste tons of a girl's (unpaid) time and keep her from interacting with legitimate clients. We share their screen names amongst ourselves, so when one BCB girl gets taken advantage of, we all find out about it. That way at least it only happens to one of us. Whenever someone I don't know contacts me via instant messenger, I check the list before getting too involved in a conversation. Today that proved to be a good habit. (Screen name has been altered to protect the moronic.)

p_j_a: Hello
tonyajonemiller: hello
p_j_a: Mistress?
tonyajonemiller: oh no
tonyajonemiller: you're on our timewasters list
tonyajonemiller: sorry
tonyajonemiller: no chit chat here
p_j_a: Whats the timewasters list?
tonyajonemiller: LMFAO
tonyajonemiller: you have to ask
tonyajonemiller: that's fucking hilarious
p_j_a: I don't understand Mistress..this is first time I spoke to you
tonyajonemiller: yes
tonyajonemiller: but you have wasted the time of many BCB girls in IM without calling
tonyajonemiller: so you don't get my time too
tonyajonemiller: sorry
tonyajonemiller: good bye
p_j_a: well..what about niteflirt?
*** p_j_a has been ignored.

"What's the timewasters list?" ROFLMAO! Is it me, or is that f-ing priceless? Well, p_j_a, the timewasters list is a list. Of people who waste time. Otherwise known as timewasters. I'm really not sure how I can make it clearer to you. *shaking my head* Howard actually thinks the guy was seriously asking the question, which only makes me MORE fearful for the future of the human race...

To Tell The Truth

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:17:16 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

That last attempt at poetry was two haiku (haikus? What's the plural?) strung together. I guess I should have mentioned that. Lol. That's what I get for waxing poetic when I'm intoxicated by food and drink...

Ahhh, blogger's remorse. It's a new syndrome I think you'll be hearing about. Apparently if you put your life on the internet, people can *gasp!* find out about you. I keep reading these random warning articles that just crack me up. Prospective employers will check your FaceBook contacts! Loan officers can see what you write in your blog and will know more about you! What does your "online community" say about you? Cover your net tracks! The implication of course being that if "they" find out who you really are and what you really think, "they" won't want you anymore.

It makes me laugh, but it's really kind of sad too. So much emphasis on one's reputation rather than what a person actually does or the impact they have on the world around them. I guess I can't run for office, huh? I'm a pervert who writes taboo fantasies and takes photos of sperm-splattered shoes and has the audacity to openly share them. Ack! Does it matter that I am environmentally conscious, kind to my fellow humans, and generous to charity just as openly? Not if I want to tell the truth about all of me.

Some people will surely be disgusted or insulted by my erotic leanings and expressions. So be it. I'm willing to stand behind what I think and say and do so as to be a living example that a person can embrace the sexuality within themselves in a safe, sane, and HONEST way. How many politicians and law enforcement officials have to fall victims to their own hubris and hypocrisy before we realize that the current government-sanctioned marginalization of the vast expanse of human sexual experience is not just unrealistic but truly detrimental? So many lives and careers ruined because the denial of basic human urges and impluses turns people into liars and criminals.

Well, I politely decline to be either, thank you very much. *smiles* Oooh, did I mention I am looking into taking a photography class? I need to learn the language. That's what any new project is like for me- I have to learn how to communicate in the given situation first. And I figure before I spend money on a new camera or a basic lighting kit, I need to educate myself more about what's out there, what I need specifically, etc. I doubt I'll limit myself to cum-covered footwear in the long run. Photography first, then maybe film-making. I have stories to tell, you see. Words and pictures. Clean and dirty. Just like me.

Culinary Inspiration

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 04:53:55 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

His fingers flying
over flesh to be consumed
by eager gluttons

My hunger seething
for more than the sweetest breads
melting in my mouth

More New Obsession

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 03:28:08 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

I can't help it. I'm obsessed with the look of it...

But Is It Art?

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 00:48:26 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

As you might imagine, there is a story behind these photos. But basically what it boils down to is I like the way spooge looks on various items, especially nice shoes. (I also like it on my face and my tits, but isn't that kind of a given? LMFAO!) I definitely need a better camera...

Not Safe For Prudes

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 03:46:26 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

It has been a while since I've written about my phone sex calls in detail, mostly because I figure anyone who reads this already knows firsthand what they're like. Lol. I also got tired of feeling obligated to write about each one. It started to feel repetitive, because it is indiscreet to get overly specific sometimes, so I limited myself to the same phrases and euphemisms. The calls are never boring, but rehashing them can be. In addition, I think in my haste to prove there is more to me than phone sex, I lost sight of the fact that sexual fantasy and phone sex is a huge part of who I am. And I miss writing about it...

So as opposed to resuming shout-outs, I think I'll simply share my personal fantasies every once in a while. Seeing as how my own sexual proclivities often influence my phone sex calls, I think this will be a nice compromise...

***A DISCLAIMER*** What follows is FANTASY. Last I heard, imagining something in one's head without intent to act was still legal. I do NOT condone criminal behavior, especially that which causes pain to innocents. In my fantasies, the victim is often ME. In real life, if anyone tried to do anything to me against my will, they had better be prepared to lose at least a testicle. In real life, I stand up to bullies. But in my fantasies, anything goes. And any psychologist can tell you that some of the most taboo fantasies (rape, incest, etc.) are surprisingly common. Please stop reading now if you are easily offended.

A MASKED MAN

I should have noticed the window was open too far, but it doesn't register until a split second too late. I am tired and more than a little tipsy from the wine at dinner. And I remember leaving it open for the cats. But it isn't until I walk back in from the bathroom, that I notice the torn screen. I shiver and pull my robe tighter.

"KitKat! Tigger!" I call, leaning out to pull the window closed quickly. As my voice dies out, I hear a rustling near their food dish in the kitchen. "Oh you silly kittens, you scared me half to death!"

Stepping into the darkened hallway, I feel the gloved hand slide over my mouth as a strong leg sweeps mine from beneath me. Falling to my knees, he is above me in an instant, a dark masked figure silhouetted in the low glow from the bedroom. A blade glints at my cheek and I freeze on my hands and knees.

"I don't want to have to use this. But I will. Do you understand?" His voice is low and smooth and betrays not a speck of hesitation. I nod slowly, still holding my breath. The glove slowly slides from my mouth to my throat. "Now we're going back into the bedroom, and you're going to take that pretty little robe off for me."

I start to get to my feet but his hand immediately tightens around my neck. "Ah ah ah. Crawl. Mmmm yes. Very good. Nice ass. I'm going to enjoy fucking it." I shudder at the nonchalant way he says it but don't dare turn around. In the middle of the bedroom, he orders me to stand.

My legs tremble. "Take it off." The tip of the knife is at my nipple, barely covered by the light silk. "Take. It. OFF." I slip the robe from my shoulders. "Panties too." My eyes flutter closed as I push my thumbs under the wasteband, easing the lace boyshorts down my thighs. I can feel him moving behind me, his rough hands grasping my ass cheeks.

"Oh yeah. I am going to enjoy this. On the fucking bed!" He pushes me roughly onto my back, grabbing my arm and twisting me around until my head hangs off the bed. In an instant, his cock is out, hard and pulsing next to my face. Flat edge of the knife on one cheek, his dick smacking against the other.

"You're going to be a good girl for me and suck it nice, aren't you?" His cock smacks harder against my jaw. "AREN'T YOU?!" I nod, opening my mouth. He feeds it in slowly at first, then faster, pushing past my gag reflex. My eyes begin to water and drool runs down my cheeks, pooling in my hair and dripping onto the floor.

"That's it. Suck it good. Get it nice and wet or you'll be sorry." After a few more thrusts into my throat, he flips me over and grabs my ankles, pulling me to the end of the bed. Using one hand to flatten my lower back, he kicks my legs apart. I can feel his cock pushing through my ass cheeks. I moan at the friction.

"Hey I'm a nice guy, I'll even get your ass wet!" He laughs almost maniacally as he spits loogie after loogie on my butt crack. I feel his dick against my sphincter and that tight ring of pain as he shoves in. My scream is muffled by the blanket but apparently not enough.

"Quiet you little fucking bitch and take it!" He shoves roughly balls deep so he can reach the back of my head, holding it deeper in the covers. I bite down on a mouthful of pillow as the assault on my ass continues. It feels like he is ripping me open. "Mmm now that's a nice fucking tight ass. Hell YEAH!" His body stiffens up and I feel a warm spray stinging the inside of my anal canal.

To my horror, his cock does not subside nor does he withdraw from my aching ass. I feel him reach under the bed and hear the unmistakable sound of my vibrator. "Bitch didn't think I knew what a horny cunt you are, huh? Look what I found in your drawer." The buzzing shaft of the vibe rubs up against my clit, and I can't help bucking against it.

"Oh yeah you like that, don't you? Makes your ass tighten right up." He turns it up to high and slides it into my pussy. "MMM fuck yesssss that is one good little cunt. Going to make your butt milk my dick!" As he fucks me with the vibe, he starts to stroke into my rear again. I don't even feel the pain, the sensations are so overwhelming. "Little cunt's going to cream, aren't you. Bitch LOVES getting her cocks doesn't she?"

I black out as I come, my muscles spasming. The last thing I feel is another rush of warm jizz shooting up inside my battered bottom. And then I pass out. When I wake, slowly, my vision is blurred, eyes sticky. I feel a warm washcloth wiping away the dried spittle and pre-cum. As your face comes into view, the ski mask pushed up onto your head, I smile.

"As a matter of fact, this Bitch ~does~ love getting her cocks. You should know, darling."

Hah!

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:30:24 GMT

As you can see, I got my LiveJournal account back after a slew of letters back and forth with the "Abuse Team" about my case. I hope whoever reported me is choking on their bile right now. It's like they say, the truth will out. *smiles sweetly*

More importantly, it motivated us to make every girl who didn't already have one a personal site/blog. This is something Howard and I have been wanting to do for a while now but have been putting off for various reasons. I do think that the best revenge is taking whatever someone tries to throw at you and using it to your advantage...I often finds it infuriates the aggressor even more, which to me is an indication of poor self-control. In other words...SUCK IT!!! *giggles*

So I'll keep re-posting my blog entries here, probably minus some of the convenient links I include there just so I can't be accused of advertising. Thanks to everyone for their support (and guerilla warfare tactics) while I've been fighting The Man. Hehehe...

Love,
Tonya

Cool Optical Illusions

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 05:15:41 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

1. Are the purple lines straight?

2. What do you see?

3. Focus on the dot in the center and move your head forward and backwards. What do you see?

4. Relax and concentrate on the 4 small dots in the middle of the picture for about 30-40 seconds. Then take a look at a wall (or any smooth, single-colored surface) near you. You will see a a circle of light developing. Start blinking your eyes a couple of times. What do you see?

SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWERS...

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

1. No
2. You hould see a face and also the word "Liar" in script
3. The circles appear to move
4. The outline of Jesus will emerge

Pretty cool, don't you think? Speaking of pretty cool, Howard and I went to see the Rose City Rollers today. I'd never been to a roller derby before, and now I think I'm totally hooked! I haven't picked "my" team yet, though I'm leaning toward the Heartless Heathers. There are also the Break Neck Betties, High Rollers, and Guns N Rollers, as well as traveling all-star team Wheels of Justice, all-star team Axles of Annihiliation, and rookie team Fresh Meat. Plus, the skaters all have cool names like Mega Hurtz and Goody Two-Skates, and it got me thinking about what my roller derby name would be. Lol! They're actually having try-outs the second week of April which could be fun, but I'm wayyyy out of practice on quad skates...Maybe next time...

Elizabeth Pisani is my Hero

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 17:52:05 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

Please read this brilliant article by Elizabeth Pisani. I have just discovered her blog, www.WisdomOfWhores.com and find her to be a much-needed rational voice in a world of Puritans and hypocrites.

D'yer Maker

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:37:07 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

I needed that. I mean, I ~really~ needed that vacation. Basically, all I did was eat, sleep, and split my time between the pools and the beach. Which is what you're supposed to do on vacation, right? The resort, Couples San Souci, was just beautiful. It is set into the side of a cliff and has a secluded (if small) private beach as well as an au naturel beach, four swimming pools, and three jacuzzis. Click on the thumbnails below for full-size pictures.

We weren't wild about our room at first, but after a day or two we realized it was in a prime location, central to the hotel's restaurants and bars, and comparatively close to the beaches and pools. Apparently the rooms were recently refurbished, but they were still a little worn. We'd have paid a bit more for an upgrade but they were sold out for over half of our stay. In all fairness, saltwater and sand and ocean air is hard on a room's interior, and after a couple of days we liked our suite more than we did initially. Besides, we spent most of our time outside anyway.

I liked the mineral pool on the cliffside best, because it was right next to Charlie's Spa. Charlie (I have such a soft spot in my heart for that name...*smile*) is a sea turtle who has lived in the caves of the cliff for 96 years, or 103 or 106, depending on who you ask. (Which is funny because like how would they know?) There was a hidden beach access and balcony next to the turtle grotto that was great for sneaking a joint...You know...If uhhhh...That's the sort of thing you're into...Hehehe...

I went to the actual spa twice. The second day we were there, I got a package with a hot stone massage, facial, and scalp massage that kicked ass. Then the day before we left, I got another massage in one of their huts over the ocean. Amazing...I wish I had taken a picture, but I was too relaxed to think...Lol!

And I actually didn't lay around the whole time, because...I SWAM WITH DOLPHINS!! It was so cool. Spendy and a wee bit touristy, but I don't care. It was totally worth it. One of the most amazing experiences of my life. I got to touch two different dolphins, both on the back and on the underside. The trainers taught me how to ask them to sing to me, dance with me, and kiss me, which they did. They also pushed my feet with their heads until I was standing almost straight up on the water as if I were water-skiing. But the highlight by far was the dorsal pull. I floated on my stomach with my arms out and the dolphins just swam up on either side slowly so I could grab the lower part of their dorsal fins. They pulled me around for bit and then swam off. It was unbelievable!

The food was pretty good. There were nice buffets for breakfast and lunch, three different restaurants for dinner, plus room service from 6am to 11pm, and a casual grill on the beach for snacks, burgers, pizza, etc. during non-meal-service times. My guess is that it's better than most all-inclusives (apparently the room service is uncommon), but it's still hotel food. At least they did feature some local specialties like escoveitch fish, ackee and saltfish, fried bammy, and of course jerk everything. Less exotic fruits than I was expecting though, that was the big surprise.

There were also two special events, the Friday Gala and the Tuesday Beach Party. I found the entertainment to be cheesy, but that's what years producing concerts and shows will do to a person. I wasn't so impressed by the Beach Party, but the Gala had a truly spectacular spread, with lots of gorgeous details...

Of course, you know me...It's all in the desserts, and oh my God, the desserts...

That was the sweets spread at the Friday Gala, but everyday at lunch the buffet had at least 10 different desserts to choose from. I was in Heaven. I probably gained ten pounds in one week, but I promised myself I was going to have whatever I wanted, and I did. *smiles* I lost count of how many frozen pina coladas and blue hawaiians (with an extra float of rum, natch) I sucked down...Red Stripe is everywhere, although I preferred the cans of Carib in the mini-bar, which was minimally stocked but also included...I didn't see Carib anywhere else though...

The service was inconsistent...About half the staff were fantastic and friendly, but the other half were sullen and hard to approach...I have a theory on that which is wrapped up in my overall feelings about the trip...I've never done the all-inclusive thing before, and while it was kind of cool, I'm not sure I'd do it again. Or maybe it's Jamaica I wouldn't do again. Because from what I saw, it would be serious work to put together a NON-inclusive package that would still be enjoyable. It's not that I didn't have a good time. On the contrary, I had an amazing vacation. Bear with me while I try to explain...

You fly into this beautiful island, looking forward to your relaxing vacation in a tropical paradise...A nice baggage handler slyly slips a bag of Jamaican bud into your hand for $20 before you even leave the airport...And then you hop into an air-conditioned shuttle that whisks you off to your swanky hotel...On the way there I admit that I, like most tourists, was caught up in the excitement and tried not to pay too much attention to the extreme poverty visible from the road...

But after one excursion into town (Ocho Rios), it was hard to ignore. If you step outside of the secured shopping areas tailor-made for the tourists, you get accosted by desperate and persistent scammers and beggars. It was overwhelming. I am not easily intimidated, nor is Howard, but we were both uneasy. I did manage to slip into a Juici Beef for the Jamaican version of an empanada- super yummy! But the experience sort of made me feel trapped on the resort grounds, and I'm the kind of person who usually likes to go out and explore. On the return trip to the airport, my misgivings were confirmed...

There are huge beachfront resorts on one side of the road and dilapidated shacks and mini-shantytowns on the other. It was sickening. There is obviously no infrastructure in place to ensure the locals benefit from the influx of tourist dollars. Some choose to work in the tourist industry and seem to enjoy it. Others do it just for the money, and it shows. I am no stranger to poverty. I grew up relatively poor by U.S. standards, and I witnessed dire suffering in South America as an exchange student in my teens. But the dichotomy between the very few with power and money and the majority of Jamaicans really bothered me.

Yeah I know...Wake up and smell the Blue Mountain coffee, Tonya. I get it. But I work hard, and on the rare occasions when I actually play hard, I'd like to think my tourist dollars are helping the people of the community/country I'm visiting, rather than just lining the pockets of a select few riding on the backs of many. I know there is inequity and injustice all over the world, but I want to contribute to it as little as possible. I'm torn. Jamaica was beautiful and the vacation was everything I needed and wanted. But I know there are places that incorporate tourism into the local economy for the benefit of the people, and I'm more inclined to seek them out now.

*whew*

It's nice to be home though. I'm refreshed and ready to dive into some new projects. I have a bunch of ideas swirling around in my head, I just don't know which ones I want to attack first. Hmmm, maybe I'll go watch porn instead. LMFAO.

Pictures from the Play

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 02:38:49 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

My darling mother took these photographs during curtain call of the last matinee performance of Tales of Ordinary Madness....

The back of Dalene's head...And me...

The bottom of Jason's face...And me...

Me, Dalene, and Brian...

Matt, Yohhei, Kristen, Greg, Jason, Me, Lauren, Steve, and Melissa...

Not pictured: Brian, Mindy, Shuhe, Jesse, and Michael. Although you ~can~ see the bust of Michael's head in the left foreground of the photo.

Mmmm...

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 06:46:15 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

So we found out where we're staying, and out of the four possibilities, this is the one I wanted...Couples Sans Souci...It's all-suites, so we're guaranteed to have a spacious room, plus it apparently has excellent restaurants which of course suits the foodie in me...I've been doing a bunch of research too, and so far this is what I have on my To Do list...

Nine Mile
Bob Marley's home and final resting place...

Island Village Jamaica
Tourist trap, but I'm a sucker...Plus it has the Reggae Xplosion museum...

Dolphin Cove
Swim with dolphins...Need I say more?

Hooves
Horseback rides on the beach, in the rainforest, or up the mountains...

Who knows if I'll actually be able to drag myself off the "au naturel" beach...*wink*

Seven Days to Jamaica

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 03:41:00 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

I've managed to get through my usual post-production depression from the play closing in record time...Unfortunately, it is because I've been distracted by excruciating pain...The lower back problems I had around Thanksgiving came back in full force last week, so in the interest of saving our impending vacation, I made myself see a doctor yesterday.

The good news is that it doesn't appear to be anything internal or *ahem* feminine. The bad news is I seem to have strained a ligament in my lower back. So I saw a physical therapist this morning and am going again on Monday and possibly Wednesday (if I have time). The session was very helpful, and he gave me some stretches to do on my own. I am also now stocked with Vicodin and Skelaxin (muscle relaxer)...Yay! Hehehe...I plan on taking at easy as possible until we leave, and with the pain meds and stretches hopefully I'll make it through the vacation just fine...

We still don't know which Couples resort we are staying at, but hell...It's JAMAICA!!! This can't come a moment too soon...I really need to just do absolutely nothing for a few days...*smile* Mostly because Howard and I have a bunch of ideas swirling around in our heads and will be tackling some gigantic projects when we get back...No rest for the wicked, as they say...

But I ~can~ be wickedly arresting if you care to crawl into my bed...Call (866) SEXY-832 for phone sex with Tonya Jone Miller, your aural courtesan...

Winding Down

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 22:48:33 GMT

***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***

Only two more shows left...I can't believe it's almost over! I feel so blessed to have been a part of this production...I've met so many amazing people...And last night I was reminded of yet another difference between Portland and NYC...Here, people from the audience don't say "good job, nice work" like they do in Manhattan. They say, "thank you!" It's the coolest thing, actual appreciation rather than a begrudging acknowledgement...Every time I hear it, I feel so thankful and humble...And it makes me so happy that I decided to come back home...

Tomorrow is closing night, and while it is definitely going to be sad bid the show and my incredible castmates farewell, I am ready to move on...There are a lot of things on my big To Do Before I Die list that are completely do-able NOW if I just get my ass in gear...The upcoming trip to Jamaica has got me primed for travel and exploration...Learning...The taking in of new stimuli and information...I feel like I have focused so intently on acting and phone sex in the past four years, I've missed a few adventures...

I balance that notion with the knowledge that I've made so many friends from both of my favorite endeavors and also experienced joys and delights I never imagined...There are no regrets here, just a simple realization that as time passes, my priorities shift...I cannot imagine ever not doing phone sex or being a part of Bay City Blues, nor could I continue to put in 80 hour weeks indefinitely...It's weird learning how to leave my baby alone, so to speak, while I go do things...And then coming back with new experiences and insight to share, coming home to my friends and family...It enables me to enjoy and cherish my time on the phone even more...

Lately my calls have been truly amazing...As I've mentioned before, it is the nature of phone sex that callers drift in and out of my life, and it often goes in waves...Recently I've spoken with some new clients who are deliciously intriguing and attentive...There is just something so fun about getting to discover a new person, unwrapping them like a present...It also gives me fresh appreciation for those friends I have who endure, regardless of the length of our professional relationship...There are people you can count on in your life...I'm sure you know the ones I mean...I like that I am that person for so many others, and that there are select few I can always depend on when the chips are down...

I've been thinking that maybe this blog isn't sexy enough...That I should make an effort to write more erotica and talk about my sexual exploits...But then someone will say something to me on the phone like, "you are so REAL. It's why I call you and nobody else." And I guess I have to believe that if I were all 100% sex all the time, people would see right through it. At least, the people who matter to me would. No one is always ON, especially not those of us who make our living in the sex industry. I have my bad days. I'm moody and emotional and volatile as hell. But I also truly love giving pleasure. So I save the graphic stuff for the telephone or the bedroom, unless I feel truly compelled...Should you be so lucky as to be one of my lovers, you will discover for yourself the different facets of my sexuality...But anyone is welcome to share my brain...Frightening prospect...Hehehe...

I'm off to finish the white bean and kale soup I'm making...Smells good...Oooh did I mention that I'm still cigarette free??? Yay! I'm going to celebrate with a glass of wine later...Lol...One vice at a time, right?